The term narcissist stirs images of blaring politicians, posturing media stars, and the like. But as expert Dr. Craig Malkin notes, there are also “subtle narcissists who are more difficult to detect, more common, and more likely to wreak havoc in our lives. They’re the people we see every day: they’re our lovers, spouses, friends, and bosses.”1 These individuals slip under the radar because they’re woven into our daily existence, and their narcissism is often masked by surface charm or warmth. At core, though, they’re just as hungry for attention as their obvious counterparts, and they’re just as ready to manipulate people.
Why are Narcissists so Hungry for Attention?
It’s often argued that narcissists struggle with self-worth, and that they want to to dampen feelings like shame or rejection. The pursuit of attention and respect is really about trying to feel significant rather than worthless. Narcissists believe that they must be worthy and important if others see them that way.